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 All To Myself, Big Bad Wolf ;)
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Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.

The costume wasn’t entirely uncomfortable, but it was still a bit much for Beatrice Bones. It wasn’t that it required too much effort or that the material was itchy or cheap – no, those would have been immediate deal breakers for the girl who hardly wanted to participate in school functions as it was this year. It was just too…flashy? Maybe that was the right word. The red was a color Bea never wore, a crimson shade that screamed for attention. While it didn’t look awful cloaked around her shoulders or painted on her pursed lips, she was still certain this was not her color. What am I doing? She felt like a child playing dress up, but she supposed that was the point, wasn’t it? Why were they doing this again? The whole thing was a little above her level of comprehension.

If it hadn’t been for Lily Potter, Beatrice wouldn’t have even been there in the first place. It was only at her fellow Hufflepuff’s insistence that this would be a “good thing” and help her get her mind off “you know what” that the blonde finally caved into her friend’s whims. Bea, however, originally decided participating in Halloween this year might be a little too much for her. Even though it had been a handful of months since the scariest thing she had encountered in her entire life, she was still feeling the effects of the experience and wasn’t really up for facing more horrors – fake or otherwise.

Beatrice was at least glad that Lily would be one of her partners for the annual school event – the pair had been assigned to a group of three for a “fun” blind date situation which must have had some mix-ups to be putting them together in odd numbers, but she wasn’t complaining. She had initially only wanted to hang out with her redheaded friend to begin with, so she was sure she could stomach one other person’s presence and have a simple party of three. The only reason Beatrice knew Lily was partnered with her in the first place was because her costume had been one of the two listed on the blonde’s slip of paper which described her counterparts.

Initially, Bea had hoped the last member of their trio would be Fred Weasley, another familiar face. But, a quick check in with him told her that he was not going as the Big Bad Wolf this year, at which point the blonde simply shrugged it off and discontinued her search. Her curiosity wasn’t burning inside her so badly that she would be unable to enjoy the night without first cracking the identity of their mystery partner. If it were truly that awful, she could just sneak off early and leave Lily to enjoy whatever “date” it was supposed to have been in the first place. Though, she begrudgingly admitted, it would make more sense for Beatrice to stay by the side of the mystery date as the two had accidentally chosen matching costumes.

After one final glance in the mirror and a minor adjustment of rogue curls, Beatrice finally let out a heavy sigh and made her way down to the festivities. She was a latecomer this time, something she had been adamantly against just one year ago. It was funny how people outgrew silly things like punctuality over time. She mused about this as she took in the overwhelming intricacies of the Great Hall’s decorations. There was a haunted portion of the room, but she sure as hell wasn’t going anywhere near that. The rest of the room seemed safe enough, though. Nothing was too terrifying, though, for which the Hufflepuff girl was partially relieved. She hadn’t been too concerned with scary décor, but it did serve to squelch her anxiety that everything seemed to be more juvenile than horrific. While she took in the scenery, she searched for any sight of her friend or a costume resembling a wolf, still slightly inquisitive about that mystery man. It didn’t seem that she would have any luck finding either, though, and Beatrice was quickly drawing closer to giving up and returning to her room for a quite night of books and tea.

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His mind was finally at a clear as he had stumbled through the Slytherin Corridor. He had other things to focus on now aside from the one that had- had him stumped for so long. The one that had kept him on a tight leash. Well, not that she had realized she had done just that, but she did. Beatrice Bones held Levi in the palm of her hand even if she hadn’t realized it. It had driven him mad from time to time only wanting her to want him back- but what was the use in doing so? It had seemed as if he was only wasting his time and energy on a girl who had only continued to push him away. And did he truly have the time to chase the tail? Did he truly wish to waste his time? No. But that didn’t mean he didn’t care for her. That was for certain.

Deep breath.

Levi had other things on his mind currently. Or, well, he had a certain someone on his mind? Lucy Weasley. Yes, he had heard the continuous string of lectures on how he was making all the wrong moves in life. How he was stepping outside of his boundaries and should have kept it within his own house. First a Hufflepuff and then a Gryffindor? But that didn’t matter to Levi. None of that mattered to him- blood, house, height, weight- women were beautiful creatures regardless. And Lucy was just that. Her beautiful red hair, that bright smile calling out to him as she would catch up to him after classes now- as they would slip away in between classes to find themselves wrapped up in one another yet again. That was what Levi had longed for. Someone who had wished to be around him and see that he was, indeed, a caring person. Not that typical Slytherin. He was nothing like his friends.

Sliping on his nostalgic wolf costume, Levi headed to the event as he found himself standing on the outside of the room. Everything was decorated to a T. Nothing out of place, everything so intense and realistic- why couldn’t his school have done the same? Yet, no other had been as creative as Hogwarts itself. That was for certain. Holding a glass in one hand, Levi stood there. Inhaling the smell of pumpkin spice. The hair on his arms taking a stand. He had double the dates tonight. And, shockingly, Beatrice had been one of them. Taking a small swig he stood again in silence. Though, that was before he had seen the bright blonde haired beauty stand alone. Pushing forth all sorts of memories and feelings.

Though, he couldn’t think about them.

He refused to think about them even though he wanted nothing more than to bring it up. He wanted to scream from mountain tops.Easing his way in her direction, Levi tossed the cup into the garbage bin before stopping just ahead of her. ”Bones.” he smiled sheepishly before finishing off the punch. ”I figured you would have voided that whole assigned thing altogether.” It still killed him. Why was he not good enough for her?! He didn’t understand! ”You look stunning, though.” Levi then added before inhaling deeply. ”As always.” Levi felt it hit him like a sack of bricks. His chest aching, praying he didn’t fuck this up.

@BEATRICE BONES

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Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.

The Hufflepuff girl was fidgeting with the awkward pouf on the front of her white costume blouse, blue eyes roaming around the room in curiosity, when she finally saw the one person she truly had hoped to avoid in all of this. She was surprised it took so long for her eyes to fall on that tall, gorgeous blond, but she had a feeling they eventually would if he attended the same party as her. The only thing she hadn’t quite anticipated was for him to saunter over to her in his typical, overly attractive fashion, their eyes locked and unable to be broken away from one another. Beatrice’s breath caught in her throat as a chill ran down her spine.

It was the kind of shiver that was almost as comfortable as it was electrifying. Levi seemed to approach her at an achingly slow pace, but she used each sluggishly ticking second as time to think of something clever to say to him when he finally came up to her. Unfortunately, all of her brain cells seemed to be short-circuited by finally seeing him again. It had been a few weeks since that day on the Quidditch pitch, and while she had noticed him in the halls and around the castle, she politely avoided eye contact at all costs, let alone actual conversations. That was all about to come to an end, though.

“Visser,” she said, hoping her voice didn’t shake too much when the words formed in her throat. It was hard to control her breathing, but her speech was something even more impossible yet. “I wasn’t planning on…Lily convinced me to…” Suddenly, all words were escaping her. She couldn’t think straight around him. It was like he emitted a sort of haze into the air around her. Maybe it was just his cologne that made Bea so dizzy. “I didn’t know. Obviously, I didn’t know that you would be one of my…partners. It just said ‘wolf,’ and I guess someone on the staff has a strange sense of humor, pairing us together.” Of course, she saw the irony in their situation, but it went entirely unappreciated by the young woman.

For a moment, Beatrice chose to ignore him. She wasn’t sure if she should thank him for his compliment or rebuke any niceties he threw her way. What came out of her mouth instead was something entirely unexpected from the blonde. She couldn’t have even pinned the words to herself if they hadn’t come straight from her lips. “Is that something you tell Lucy often, too?” Maybe she didn’t acknowledge the Slytherin when their lives seemingly tried intermingle, but that didn’t mean she could avoid the gossip that seeped through the castle and reached her ears. She knew all about what Levi was doing so shortly after acting like he was bearing his heart to her. Maybe she hadn’t returned the sentiment, but she certainly felt the pain of rejection when word reached her that he had moved on to a fiery Gryffindor redhead so soon. A small blush crept into her face, but she didn’t apologize for her bold, rude words nor did she let her gaze fall from his.

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Truthfully he was more than excited to see her face- he was jumping for joy inside. As insane as that may have sounded, but he still cared for her. Since the moment he had first laid his eye son her, she was all he could ever think about. And now, now he was nothing more than a Slytherin boy to her. That stereotypical Slytherin boy who only cared for himself and what he could get out of women. But that wasn’t him! He wasn’t like that! Levi had a tenderness from within thanks to his mother. Showing and educating him on how women should have been treated. On how to handle them regardless of how difficult they are being. Never ever would he ever dream of laying his hand on a woman, ever. Not Beatrice not anyone.

Yet, he didn’t believe her to see that. She wanted to see something else in him for some reason. A monster perhaps? A monster who couldn’t love her or who would turn on her like the others have. But he wasn’t like them. Trying to keep himself in place, he watched her. His hands wanting for nothing more than to just reach out and pull her to him. Longing to feel her next to him as he had done so many times before. Sure it wasn’t anything sexual, just that closeness with her. Bumping shoulders, the usual playful shove- how they had used to be. That was the Beatrice he had fallen in love with last year and all he wanted was to have her back. He wanted her to come back to him.

”Well.. Maybe it is a good thing that you decided to come then?” Really? Really?! He couldn’t have thought of anything else to say. What if she didn’t want to be there with him? What if she was disgusted with the fact? After all, he did lay his lips on her back at that Quidditch pitch just weeks prior. Pouring out his heart and soul to her and receiving nothing. Only words demanding him to go away, to leave her be. But he didn’t want too. ”I mean, maybe you needed to get out instead of becoming a hobbit.” He teased. That was it. That was better. Right? Perhaps not. Beatrice was sensitive and he had been treading on eggshells.

Looking himself over as he stood before her, Levi chuckled. ”Well, I didn’t think the wolf idea was all too horrid. I mean I like it.” he shrugged though he knew the words laced beneath the ones coming forth. She obviously wasn’t all too pleased with the pairing- not like he was at least. ’And I believe they have a wonderful sense of humor.” Merlin was she beautiful. He just couldn’t keep his eyes form her- that long blonde hair, her outfit… just everything about her in general.

Lucy.

Levi stood there for a moment in silence as he had figured it to have gotten back to her- obviously. ”Beatrice.” He exhaled sharply with a slight toss of the eyes. ”Come on now.” But he couldn’t hide it. Yes, he and Lucy had been.. Pairing up, but that was really it. Wasn’t it? ”You know every word that comes from my mouth to you is the truth. You really don’t need to be like this. Not now.” He moved in a bit, lowering his voice. ”I just want you to enjoy your night.” Of course he did. He wanted her to enjoy it all. But.. how could he when he could almost hear it in her voice. ”Lucy is a lovely girl, Bea. She has been there for me these past few weeks and I appreciate it.” he swallowed. ”now can we enjoy the night with one another?” he questioned. ”Please?”

@BEATRICE BONES

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Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.

It was difficult for Beatrice to avoid the distraction of his too sparkly, too perfect, too captivating eyes. It was impossible for her to stop her breath from shaking and her heart from quivering at the very sight of him. If she could, she would have moved mountains to find a way to regain control over her own body – the control that Levi seemed to have taken for himself, whether or not he knew it. The edges of the world seemed to darken into a fuzzy gray area when he was around. It was as if her eyes wouldn’t let her see anything aside from him. It was maddening.

Bea pursed her lips slightly at his comment, but made no other offer for one of her own. Was this truly what they had come to? Trying to exchange awkward pleasantries and pretend as if the hurt and yearning wasn’t still as palpable in the air between them as the decorations on the walls? Was Bea really expected to stand there and forget about the nights wrapped in the safety and warmth of his arms – the only nights she could sleep? Was she supposed to ignore the feelings he ignited in her when he finally, mercifully, and passionately kissed her on that Quidditch Pitch in what seemed like ages ago? How was she supposed to do any of this?

“The longer I’m here, the more I’m thinking the hobbit lifestyle is the one for me,” she shot back with a pointed look. Maybe she would feel more up for activities if it weren’t for the persistent rumors that Lucy and Levi would be sucking each other’s faces off around every turn in every corridor if she were to leave her room. The thought was nauseating enough, but Beatrice knew that if she actually saw it with her own eyes, her heart would have an irrevocable tear in it. It was much easier to simply pretend neither of them existed than to have to face something like that. As much as she would have liked to argue that there was no humor in pairing the Big Bad Wolf with Little Red, she could see how that actually was pretty funny and bit her tongue. Just because she was bitter didn’t mean she needed to take it out on the rest of the world.

Despite his apparent best efforts, Levi’s words did nothing to placate her. “No, it’s fine,” she said, her voice raising an octave as an indication of how it was most certainly not fine. She cleared her throat and tried again. “You don’t owe me any sort of explanation. That’s the beauty of just being acquaintances¬–” the word felt so wrong in her mouth, but Beatrice’s true hope was that it stung him just as badly as it poisoned her tongue – “we don’t owe each other anything. I certainly don’t need to know about what you do or don’t do to whomever in whatever Godforsaken manner…” She stopped herself, realizing her jealousy was most definitely showing.

Meanwhile, all Beatrice really wanted to do was scream at him. “I could be there for you!” Her mind urged her to yell. “I want to be there for you!” For a brief moment, she felt that familiar, glassy feeling come over her eyes as if tears were about to spill over, but she blinked and willed them back inside her skull. There was no way he was going to see what he was actually doing to her. Bea would never let Levi know how he was ripping her apart by being so… fine. Instead, she crossed her arms defensively over her chest. “I’m not sure what’s supposed to be enjoyable about any of this, Visser,” she replied, coolly, happy to have regained her composure at least a little bit.

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There was simply no winning with this girl. No way possible. She was set in her ways and set with how she had felt. And why Levi had continued to prod in was beyond him. He should have known to give up while he had the chance and, yet, he wouldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop. Did she not see what she had done to him? Or what she was doing to him, honestly? All he wanted to do was tell her to go. Tell her to turn away then. What was the purpose in fighting when he was getting nowhere with her? And now she just wanted to leave? He wasn’t good enough for her! Or, whatever it was she had figured in that confused little mind of hers. ”Maybe the Hobbit lifestyle is for you, then.” Levi couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t contain himself anymore. He was tired of being her mat. All he wanted was for her to see him and know that he wasn’t like those cheap bastards that had taken their shot at her! He wasn’t one of them and he would never allow himself to wind up like that either.

”Damn it, Bones.” Levi ran his hands across his face as he tried to calm himself. As he tried to clear his mind. Fuck, he had been trying to clear his mind for the past couple of months. Ever since he had seen her after the attacks- after he had saved her. What had he done so wrong in saving her was the question. What in the hell had he done? ”Acquaintances..” he repeated, inhaling deeply out of frustration. Why was he lowering himself to get her to see him for who he was? Why was he allowing her to make a fool out of him? ”Thats it… just acquaintances. Fuck. Forget me saving your life, right?” Damn this! Damn her! Damn everything! What did she want him to be just like the SLytherin squad there? Did she want him to be just like Vadik? The biggest douchebag known to man? Because if so, then so be it.

Listening to her ramble caused Levi to perk a curious brow. Was that a hint of jealousy lingering in her voice. Over Lucy? Well if she had been there, if she would have just let him in, he could have given her all of him. He could have shown her what it was like to feel his love. That was all. And his love, shockingly, was still burning strong. And it killed him. Because he knew he could never have her. Ever. ”There is just no winning with you, is there?” He finally spat. His head shaking back and forth in disappointment. ”Everything I do, no fuck that, anything I do isn’t good enough for you and will never be good enough for Miss. Bones.” Levi couldn’t believe the words that had been spewing from his lips. But he was so frustrated. What was he to do, damn it?! Stand here and take the beatings like a bitch. Give in and cry at her feet? That wasn’t him! That wasn’t who he was. He was a lover, yes. And never would he hurt her, but he would never succumb to this shit.

”Because in your big beautiful eyes all you see is a tragedy. Isn’t that right? A problem. A problem just like the rest of those assholes in my house.” Levi couldn’t believe himself. But he couldn’t stop. He just couldn’t put the brakes to it. His mouth was running rapid. ”I’m sorry nothing about this is enjoyable to you, Miss. Bones.” Levi shook his head low before turning to look around him. Not bothering to make contact. ”What do you want, then? Huh? Because I can just become nothing to you. Is that what you want?” He could feel his chest rise and fall rapidly. Broken. He didn’t want Vadik to be right. He didn’t want any of this. He just wanted Beatrice to love him like he had loved her.

”What do you want me to do?” he spoke low. Eyes saddened. ”I can leave. If you want me to leave. Whatever makes you feel better. Whatever makes you happy- because that’s all I want.” he breathed. ”Is for you to be happy.”

@BEATRICE BONES

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@LEVI VISSER

Beatrice knew she had said things that weren’t entirely true and things that would probably hurt Levi, but she didn’t care. She wanted him to hurt. She wanted him to feel even a fraction as bad she felt finding out that he was hooking up with some redhead in a closet not even one week after he had professed his undying love for her. Sure, they weren’t together so he had every right to do anything he wanted with anyone he wanted…that didn’t make the pain any less. That didn’t make the betrayal she felt not sting. That didn’t make her think he was going to do anything other than what those other Slytherin boys had done to her before: torture her.

What was unexpected was how visibly upset Levi got. Bea’s eyebrows shot up as he let his frustrations run from, and she had to hold herself steady to avoid wincing at the sharpness on his tongue. She wasn’t sure she’d ever heard quite so many swear words come out of his mouth before, let alone all at one time, and she knew her wide blue eyes must be screaming the story of her shock and…well, a little bit of fear. Levi had never lost his temper at her like this before. He’d explained his frustrations countless times, insisting she was being ridiculous, begging her to see reason, but he’d never done anything like this before. Part of her still-healing heart wanted to bolt. And part of her…well, it wanted to kiss him. It wanted to smother his raising voice with her mouth, to snuff out all of the anger and melt away into nothingness with him.

Instead, Bea did neither. The blonde reached out an unsteady hand and snaked it around his, wondering if he would pull back and continue to yell at her or if he would let this happen. “That’s not true,” she told him, her shaky voice barely above a whisper. “You were never ‘not good enough’ for me.” She could hardly look at him long enough to get the words out, and instead she let her blue eyes flicker to their intertwined hands, memorizing the way they fit together. It was too much. The yelling and fighting and knowing he was with someone else now…it was all too much. It was too exhausting for Beatrice to even comprehend, let alone come to terms with. She couldn’t do it anymore. She couldn’t fight him anymore, and she certainly couldn’t fight her feelings into submission, no matter what her mind shouted at her.

“You’ll never be nothing to me.” Her grip on his hand tightened as she moved closer to him, drawn to the body heat radiating from his heaving chest even as the anger still poured out of him. Beatrice wanted nothing more than to wrap her entire body around his until she suffocated all of that anger into nothingness. She couldn’t do it anymore. It was overwhelming her, threatening to consume her with panicked desire and unspoken words. “I want you,” she finally breathed to him, hoping they were close enough that he could actually make out her words over the noise from other partygoers. It seemed so strange to her that her entire world had stopped spinning, and yet the one they stood in continued to go ‘round as if nothing were any different.

Beatrice dared to edge closer to Levi, knowing it was all so very wrong of her. She should be mad at him still. She shouldn’t be talking to him. She certainly shouldn’t be pouring her heart out to a man who probably had a rendezvous plan with that stupid, loose Weasley girl later – as wrong of her as it was to be thinking so negatively about Lucy, Beatrice couldn’t help herself, even in her moment of clarity with Levi. “Visser,” she said, trying to smile at him despite the heartache that still filled every inch of her body. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend that I can live without you. I can’t pretend it’s okay with me that I know you’re with someone else…” She trailed off, thinking of Lucy for just a moment.

With her emotions in her eyes, Bea didn’t try to hold back the tears as they started to freely slide down her cheeks. “I want you. I can’t live without you every day anymore. I don’t care how stupid this is – and it’s so stupid,” she was beginning to have trouble not choking on the words. “I want you around. I want you to be with me. That’s what will make me happy. Hell, you could even kill me, and I’d still be happy.” A sob caught in her throat at the memory of how that was almost her reality. “But that isn’t right, is it?” She murmured, knowing everything she was describing was exactly everything no sane person should want in a relationship. “None of this is right.”

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Turthfull Levi just didn’t know what to do anymore. He was tired of chasing her- he was tired of turning into that run out buck who is always head over for the doe in estrus. Running and chasing until he was beaten all to hell and left to himself. Though when would he learn not to be that buck. When would he learn to take a stand instead of chasing something that didn’t want him? Perhaps that was now. Perhaps, it was possible, that the time was now. And with him nearing his breaking point with Beatrice, Levi didn’t know if there was really any going back at this point. How long would he long after her and wind up shot in the dark as always? How long would he make a fool out of himself and be known as the idiot chasing after Beatrice Bones? Maybe Vadik was right. Maybe they were all right, he needed to just go elsewhere.

What if Lucy was that elsewhere?

”I was never not good enough for you?” Levi shook his head as he inhaled deeply. The frustration more than evident as he looked down to her. ”You certainly made it to seem that way. Me seeking after you like a mad stray dog- wanting nothing more than to care for you and keep you safe.” He shook his head again. ”Damn it, Bones.” It was no secret that he was in love with her and would always wind up in love with her regardless of whatever. Beatrice Bones was the first woman in Hogwarts that had caught his attention. Her bubbly open personality that had called to him after classes. That had waited for him sometimes just after dinner so he could walk her back to the Hufflepuff room. Levi missed those days! He longed for those days! Why couldn’t he have them? Why couldn’t he have them back?

Beatrice grabbed hold of his hand causing Levi to close his eyes. That lower lip pouting as he tried to conceal himself. Though her words were calling out to him. And with every light squeeze, his focus had drifted to her. ”You made it seem that way on countless occasions when i had given you my all.” He breathed finally, his chest rising and falling in a quick motion. Somewhat out of anger, somewhat out of hurt and frustration- he was a mix of everything at the moment. I want you. Levi could almost feel himself stop breathing as he stalled. His grip slowly growing as he returned the grasp on her hand- no longer limp. Levi couldn’t believe the words that had rendered from her lips. He couldn’t believe she would have even said that. ”Beatrice..” He had LONGED to hear those words. He had prayed one day she would finally open up and admit the truth on how she had felt….

But was it too late?

”Bones..” he repeated after her. A small, miniscule smile edging its way from the corner of his mouth. Though the smile that was creeping on had soon faded as she had spoke of the other person. That person being Lucy Weasley. What had happened between the two of them had instantly pushed them together. Rejected by whom they had longed for only pushed them in the right direction in the heat of the moment. Locked in that broom closet had sent Levi into a frenzy- ravishing her in love that he had harbored for Beatrice. All the sexual tension that had built over time without the single touch of the person he longed for. It was then, in that moment, that he had built a closeness with Lucy. Though, not as close as he had figured. He could still see her mind was wrapped elsewhere but that didn’t take the attention from him. ”I waited for you..” he finally spoke again. His thumb trailing across the tops of her knuckles. ”I have waited, and waited for you...but….” Levi was soon cut off by her words again. Words that were followed closely by sobs. Quickly he pulled Beatrice to him as he escorted the two of them away from surrounding faces. Sure he didn’t care if she had confessed her love for him in front of millions of people. But not like this. There was so much emotion that he just needed to be alone with her.

Stopping ina decent spot where no one had been around, Levi rested his hand against her face. Pushing away the tears. ”Bea.” he finally breathed that sweet little nickname as he had bent down to her level. ”Look at me. Nothing about this is stupid, or silly, or anything. It is all normal. Everything you are feeling is normal and what I have been longing to hear. Don’t you get that?” His eyes had come across hers as she watched her, mesmerized. ”You have held this in for how long?” he breathed. ”Why couldn’t you have come to me, Bea? Why couldn’t you have said something to me before?! Before I had this.. This thing with Lucy? Before I had tried to put my mind and heart elsewhere?”

Levi inhaled as he was quick to rest his lips against Beatrice’s cheek. Not only once, but twice before pulling back to look at her. An attempt to kiss her tears away. ”When I had told you I loved you.. I meant it. I meant every word of it and I wish you could have said it back to me! Levi could almost feel himself break as he was overcome by so much emotion. His head spinning out of control. ”I wish we could be elsewhere instead of here! Together. He shook his head. His heart heavy. Damn it.. I love you, Beatrice. Levi licked his lower lips gently before placing it between his teeth. An attempt to control his emotions. ”But why now? Why not then?” He broke.

@BEATRICE BONES

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965 words for

@LEVI VISSER

Beatrice knew, even as she spoke, that her words would be unbelievable to Levi. And why should they be anything else? Why should he trust a single thing she said to him when all she did was pushed him away? It hadn’t been what her heart truly wanted, and she knew that. All along, she had known she harbored feelings for the Slytherin boys. She knew that she couldn’t shake a single moment of those wonderful and torturous days she spent by his side during the summer. But, just because she knew it to be true did not mean anything to the person she spent so long convincing otherwise.

It was too late. That’s what Levi was saying, wasn’t it? He was telling her that she should have taken him up on any of his offers over the past few months. He was telling her that he had always been honest and open. He had always been the genuine person she knew he was, and the only thing standing in their way was her own fears. And, now, it was too late. He had found someone else to fill that void he so desperately begged her to fill before. It was too late. The words seemed to be on repeat in her head, sending shockwaves of panic and despair directly to her heart. What had she done? A small cry-hiccup hybrid escaped her rapidly rising and falling chest as she let the realization wash over her. That old saying was true: You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.

“You don’t need to finish,” Beatrice said, trying to regain her composure. How had she lost it so quickly? She wasn’t sure. All she knew for certain was that she simply couldn’t bear to hear the rest of what he had to say… Beatrice couldn’t hear what was beyond that “but,” because, if she did, it would certainly break her entirely. “Please,” she added, slightly bloodshot blue eyes searching his, “I don’t need to hear it… I know it’s too late for this now.” Before she could break down into further hysterics, and as if by some intuition that was solely built on saving her from humiliation, Levi steered her out of the student-filled room to find some privacy for her oncoming waterworks.

Instead of crying harder, however, Levi’s touch on her cheek instantly seemed to soothe Beatrice’s emotions. As if a switch flipped inside of her, she was suddenly overcome by the calm, steady way his hand brushed away the remainder of her tears. This was some sort of hypnosis or magic she’d never experienced before, but she couldn’t even bring herself to accuse him of bewitching her. Not when she was so enchanted by his hand. How had she gone so long without his touch? What madness had driven her to willingly deny it? No wonder she was crying so hard. This was what she was missing! She was missing him.

Despite his words telling her it wasn’t silly, Bea certainly felt very stupid in that moment. How could she not? With the way Levi had to lean to get closer to her level, it was difficult for the Hufflepuff girl not to feel as if she were a child being told that the world wasn’t made of sunshine and rainbows but that was okay. On some weird level, it even felt a little bit like he was dumping her; although, Bea knew in her heart that wasn’t the case at all. How could you dump someone you’d never been involved with?

“I know,” she whispered, not answering his question about how long she’d felt this way. It would have been too painful and too heartbreakingly stupid for her to admit exactly how long she’d made them both suffer. “I know it’s too late. I know you moved on. I just…I couldn’t…say anything…it was too soon.” Beatrice didn’t need to remind him about what was too soon. Levi knew. He knew everything about her, despite how badly she had wished that weren’t the case. He knew too much, yet not enough at the same time. If only he’d known how she felt about him, then maybe… what? Would he have really stuck around forever, waiting to see if she could finally let him in? Beatrice brought this all on herself, and she knew there was no helping that.

Beatrice leaned into his touch, savoring every moment of his lips against her skin, raw and damp and pink as it may be. It was the first time she fell into him instead of away, and she was insatiable. She didn’t want his mouth to ever leave her skin. Why had she let herself lose out on all of this? What was she thinking? Stupid girl. The blonde’s eyes fluttered as his hot breath caressed her flesh, but she met his steely gaze with one of her own when he pulled back. “I wish I could have said it back, too,” she finally breathed, placing her hands on his broad shoulders and trying to soak up as much of him as she possibly could.

“I don’t know,” she said. “It was too much, and I didn’t have enough time to understand… I-I just couldn’t then…” Why? That really was the million dollar question, and it wasn’t one Bea had an answer for. At least not any good answer. “I guess I needed to lose you first, Visser,” she admitted, sadly. It was lame. It was barely an answer. And it was all she had to give to him. “I needed to lose you to know I never wanted to. And now I have.” She dropped her shaking hands away from him and took a step back. “I’m sorry.”

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but this is getting
good now
Just speaking with Beatrice right now was ripping Levi to pieces. Seeing her, hearing her voice- it killed him to know that she had known of him moving on with Lucy. But where was she then? Where in the hell was she to take a stand and claim him as she should have? He had made himself clear on how he had felt about her. Levi had even tossed himself out there for her and she couldn’t even bite at that. Instead she had figured him to be nothing. Just a boy who had saved her life and would eventually shift on her. He could see it in her eyes that was how she had felt. And there she had left him high and dry to cling onto something else. Someone else. Lucy. The redhead that was able to stabilize his life and ignite that fire. To help him heal emotionally over the heartbreak. To Levi he had felt like nothing to her. Like complete shit. So, yes, he had given up and he had figured her to do the same.

Her words were breaking him as he was trying to catch his breath. Why was it everything had to turn on him? Why?! Every time he had figured to be doing something right… he was pissing off somehow. Why couldn’t he just be on track with people? Why?! Grabbing her shoulders, Levi looked above her for a moment. All he wanted to do was break. He wanted to drop to his knees and just lose it. But he was stronger than that. And if his housemates found out about him acting like this then he would never hear the end of it. But what did he care at this point?! Pulling her away from everyone, Levi inhaled deeply trying to keep himself focused on the crying beauty. ”Beatrice.. There was nothing to be afraid of then! I have given you everything in those moments and had literally begged you to open up to me.” he exhaled, shaking his head as she had returned the touch. His fingers wiping away the tears.

”I love you, I will always love you and you should know that. My feelings for you will never change no matter what. And-” he stalled. Those bright peepers glancing around once more as he had tried to find the way to put it. As he had tried to find the words without regretting them and allowing them to kick him in the ass later. Lucy Weasley was a beautiful person. She was the light that had brought him from the darkness back in that closet. She was the one person that had given him days filled with fun wondering what would happen next. Levi could have seen them taking the next step in their relationship. He could see him furthering something…. But it wasn’t a future like he had seen with he and Beatrice. Levi knew Lucy was still hung up on Silas and that would never change. One swift moment from Silas and Levi was old news. But would he do the same to her as well?

”I can’t see a future without you in it somehow.” He finally breathed. He could felt his heart beating like a sack of pricks against his chest. ”Lucy is a wonderful woman, Beatrice. She had pulled me from this bullshit funk that I was in… but she can never replace you.” Levi swallowed hard as he had taken in her words. Those words. And the moment she had dropped her touch from him was the moment he was quick enough to pick his hands back up. Grabbing her arms as he had pulled Bea back. ”It’s not too late, Beatrice. It really isn’t…” he sighed. ”You haven’t lost me. I am right here.” But he understood. She wanted him all for herself and now she had felt like it wasn’t worth it. Like it was useless.

Letting her go, Levi ran his hands through his hair in frustration. DAMN IT he wanted her! He wanted to be with her and to hold her. He wanted to love her like she had deserved. But Lucy! He couldn’t just do this to her. Though… his love for her. Levi was deeply in love with Beatrice. Surely he cared deeply for Lucy.. but he LOVED Beatrice. Swallowing hard, Levi stilled. Slowly and steadily he continued to close off the gap between them. A free hand running slowly down the side of her cheek resting at her shoulder. The other, well, it had found it’s placement behind her back easing her into him. ”No matter what I do..” he began closing his eyes for a brief moment before reopening them to her. ”I will never be able to shake you, Beatrice Bones. And that is the thing.. I love you. I love you and all I have wanted was for you to love me back. Don’t you see?” The hand that had once rested on her shoulder slipped to the side of her cheek. Caressing it softly. ”I don’t want you with anyone else… just me.” he exhaled. ”And it would kill me to see you love another.” Levi rested his forehead against hers. ”but the real question is…what do you want?

@BEATRICE BONES

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all to myself
Beatrice had never understood the expression “weak in the knees” until she met Levi Visser. If there were ever a phrase that fit how she felt better, she would look no further than that one. Even as she stood there having a breakdown in front of him – even as she could see the pain she was causing him reflected in his expressive blue-green eyes – she couldn’t bring herself to want this to end. As unbearable as these moments with him were, Beatrice would rather have these fleeting bits of agony a thousand times over than go back to pretending Levi didn’t exist.

Part of her knew she should be thankful for the way he maneuvered her out of the crowd and wiped the tears from her eyes in an attempt to help her save face, but mostly she was bitter. Bea was sour about the fact that his fingers were so tender with her skin when all she wanted was them to be wrapped in her thick curls as she lost herself in the pandemonium of his lips and tongue. How was any of this fair? She’d certainly made a right mess of things. A few months ago, he’d been handed to her on a silver platter, but she’d been too damaged to recognize – no, to allow herself to take what she’d wanted. She saw him there and turned him away, again and again, and for what? Fear? What was the point of doing anything in life if there wasn’t a little fear that went along with it? Wasn’t that how you knew it was worth it?

The sobs turned to soft hiccups, eventually subsiding altogether, as he spoke to her. Levi’s explanations were sound and rational, but they were nothing close to what Beatrice really wanted to hear in her heart. All she wanted him to say was, “Lucy who?” And be done with it. That would be that. They would be together. It was selfish and cruel, and she knew it, but that didn’t make her any more able to deny herself what she really wanted anymore. What she needed. Beatrice was done telling herself that wasn’t the case – it was a moot point when it was this obvious that she couldn’t go another day without Levi Visser. Her heart just couldn’t bear it any longer.

Levi’s touch sent a shiver down her spine as he trailed his fingertips along the side of her face and neck before landing softly on her shoulder. Oh, how badly she wanted to kiss each of those fingertips, claiming them as her own and promising to never let another take them from her. Beatrice’s distraction by his hands didn’t last too much longer, though, as Levi subtly brought her closer to him. She savored each inch of distance that dissipated in between the heat of their bodies. He loved her. He’d always loved her, he loved her still, and there was no way she was losing him twice. No way she was letting Lucy have the man who was made for her. Sucking her lower lip between her top teeth, the blonde girl shuddered in his arms, sick of playing by the rules. Sick of denying herself of the pleasure she craved just because it could hurt someone else. Her friends would have said Bea had lost her damn mind if they saw the way she was acting. But, in that moment, they weren’t there to say anything.

With an expertise Beatrice Bones knew she didn’t possess, she placed one hand on the back of his head, knocking aside the cheap head covering of his wolf costume and finding purchase in his stupidly perfect hair and pushing them closer together. The Hufflepuff balanced precariously on her tiptoes, mostly leaning into him for support, as her lips met his, forcing them closer and closer until Bea knew there was nowhere else for him to go, no way for him to even think about squelching the sparks flying between them. Parting her mouth invitingly, Bea’s body language dared him to pursue her, to do more, touch her more, kiss her more. Her free hand snaked around his back, gripping his clothing in her small fist. He wasn’t going anywhere.

Any guilt she thought she might have had about kissing a man who was promised to another didn’t exist. It couldn’t exist in this perfect world where they were finally with each other in the most intimate way she could imagine. Pulling away just enough to let him get a gasp of air if he needed it, Beatrice’s eyes stayed trained on his full lips. “You’re mine, Visser,” she purred in a breathy voice she’d never heard escape her throat before. “Mine,” she repeated before pressing her mouth against his again, that insatiable hunger lighting her up with a fire that burned from the inside out.

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